I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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