new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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