Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
