508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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