I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
zippers are such a cool invention
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
