Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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