My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
