I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
