When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
