I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize