Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
