i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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