What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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