He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
