I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize