Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
