I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
