she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
