Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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