The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
