it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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