I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
that may or may not have been my penis.
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