I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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