Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize