Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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