i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize