Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
