how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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