all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
