So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
