i think my tv is drunk
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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