If that was your dad, he is hot
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
