The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
