weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's rum buckets o'clock
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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