What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
The air taste purple.
Randomize
