did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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