where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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