I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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