and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
