Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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