I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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