Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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