Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
