Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
