I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
