he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You had me at "let me see your balls"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
