Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
