dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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