bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
