uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
