You made me cry and you don't even care
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
