you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize