he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
