Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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