I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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