my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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