I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
