My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
