I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
