i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
