She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
