Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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