she woke up with a sticky ear
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Randomize
