Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
