I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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