I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
