It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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